“What is Energy?”
For a moment, I was knocked off my flow and actually took a step back to digest this new question. It wasn’t that I couldn’t answer it….I have plenty of times…but that was years ago when I first started out as a professional healer.
Now standing in my eight year as an established healer and known name in the community. I guess I got…..well I got lazy.
I got use to being around the energy people! the light workers, meditators, yogis, Gods and Goddesses and all divine light beings everywhere. I recently saw a video one of my students posted and laughed out LOUD because truly this is a raw depiction of how my crew and I talk! (access it here)
However as much fun it is to be around the spiritual and free thinkers of the world…am I still making a difference? Sure, of course I make a difference to those I help in session but did I get too comfortable being here? Where talk of chakras and third eyes reign supreme and everyone knows I’m out of control every Mercury Retrograde season?
I was invited by the local library in my town to give a talk to the Over 50 community. This group meets once a month, have lunch and listen to a speaker on a different topic. I was asked to talk about Reflexology.
While Reflexology is not completely woo woo as my comrades would say, it still follows along the lines of what I do in the metaphysical community. Reflexology follows the idea that there are pressure points on the feet that correspond to organs and body systems in the body. Apply pressure on a point and it will release any blockages along the meridian it corresponds to. Simple right? It sounds like that to me until a woman from the audience asked me, “Blockages in what?” to which I replied quite easily as I worked on my volunteer’s feet, “Blockages to energy.” And here we are, at the beginning of this blog.
Truth is, I got comfortable being in my little niche in the world. It felt good, really good to be around like minded people who understand you and get your vibe. However this wasn’t what I set out to do, in fact it was downright selfish. I was only pleasing myself by staying comfortable.
I am not saying we all need to be out there in the “regular” world everyday talking about our work, our craft and our lives…but we do have some responsibility to people who have no idea of all the goodies we get to play with on a daily basis.
As I looked out to the audience of thirty something over 50 people, I felt compassion and unconditional love flow over me. I quite gently went into my talk on energy and of course, the further I went down that rabbit hole, the more questions came up. “What are past lives?” “What is Reiki?” “What is Access Bars?” and on and on it went, the hunger and thirst real.
There were no judgments or discrimination (only one woman remarking to another woman that her faith does not allow her to believe in past lives but Uma is so down to earth and approachable, she is ok with me talking about it), only eagerness and hope. Hope.
I forgot. I forgot what it was like to live in the regular world where things were solid and diagnosis made by people in white coats were frightening and life ending. I felt like a mother to all who attended and yes it took me another half hour to get out of there after the talk because I fielded so many questions. I talked to many, listened to their stories, their pain and silently in my mind, blessed them and sent them energy. I pray they follow up with me (and at the time of writing this, one has made an appointment) and I can help them see the world in a whole new way, as I have come to understand it.
As I was walking out, there was a shy woman waiting in the corner and I walked up to her and said hello. She smiled and said, “Uma, my husband and son spend lots of money on guns and ammunition. I have decided I am going to spend money on myself and come see you for healing. I need it.” I read her energy and felt her tiredness, her sacrifices for her family and her devotion to others. Already she was healing just by making the choice, the decision to do something for herself. I smiled at her gently and said, “Let’s do it.”
Its not enough for us to be light workers in the world. Its not enough for us to focus on our own self healing and personal journeys. We need to bring people along with us. The thirst is real as the popular slang goes…so are you going to water your own soil or are you going to turn the hose around and help others? The choice is always there.
So what are my suggestions for awakened people living the natural and spiritual life to do? Glad you asked! Here are some easy ways to get the word out to others:
I hope this blog moves you in some way. I know I was deeply touched by the outpouring of interest in what I do and sometimes have taken for granted from time to time. But its ok. I am going to take a nice hot bath with epsom salts and my crystals, light an incense stick and then do some self Reiki tonight. The world is a beautiful place when you know the inner secrets. Let’s share it with others.
Namaste until next time,
This treatment has been PROVEN to smooth cellulite, promote toning, and decrease the inches around problem areas. Lypossage treatment tones the muscles, lifting and firming sagging tissue.
Lypossage was created by Charles Wiltsie III a recognized massage therapy educator and practitioner, from Connecticut. It is a contouring treatment that breaks up adhesions, flushes toxins, and stimulates lymphatic drainage to detoxify tissues. Lypossage also cleanses the body of stagnant, stalled lymphatic fluid (Lymph Edema) that creates the lumps and bumps we know as figure imbalance. The deeper Lypossage strokes break up adhesions under the skin that contribute to the appearance of cellulite, the dimpled uneven bumps on your skin.
The benefits of having Lypossage treatment are vast: I measure five different area of the zone you choose when we start and log measurements throughout the series. I had a client that lost 14” in a 16-week series. Besides the aesthetic benefits there are many health benefits to Lypossage treatments. One client mentioned how well she sleeps after her session and many of my clients fall asleep during their session. Lypossage also helped relieve a client’s lower back pain.
There are two ways to perform this treatment; 1) is a hands-on manual massage and 2) is by using the G5 machine, which is a vibration technique.
Both treatments are very effective. Sessions last 30 minutes and are usually sold in a series of sessions. Treatments are broken down into three zones.
Zone 1 – Areas between the naval and knees.
Zone 2 – Torso, abdomen, back, arms
Zone 3 – Neck, face, and head
Try one! Packages available!
If you like to book a Lypossage session please mention this blog to receive the:
Special $39 first session.
Diane Stark is Licensed Massage Therapist and received her Lypossage certification in Atlanta, Georgia in 2008. She graduated from National Massage Therapy Institute in 2008. Along with the Lypossage Treatment Diane also offers Swedish, Deep Tissue, Hot Stone, Aromatherapy, Chair, Raindrop Technique and Reflexology services. Diane is the owner of Cardinal Massage of Virginia, LLC located at 9256 Mosby Court, Suite 203 in Manassas Virginia. To book with Diane please call (703) 408-2499 or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
I woke up at 4.14am this morning thinking about this very topic. I wanted to know what really constituted the status of a Master?
I keep hearing this term and you know how Spirit works…when something is brought to your attention, you have to follow it. So like a trustworthy and loyal dog, I follow the scent hoping to gain some clarity and why it is so important to me.
Let me explain a little. In my line of work, i provide healing services to the masses. I am also a teacher, speaker, author and duhh writer. Jack of all trades and Master of none I USE to think until recently. Recently I started noticing people in my career circle using the term “Master Healer” or “Master Teacher” and it startled me.
It startled me because like every other human on this planet, whenever I learn of something I see it through the lens of myself. So here goes the inner self talk, “She is so brave, I would never call myself that.” But why not? A little voice in the back of my head would say. Why can’t you be a master something?
Some actual definitions of a Master by the online dictionary are, “a revered religious leader”, “a person holding an academic degree higher than a bachelor’s but lower than a doctor’s”, ” one having authority over another”,”a skilled practitioner of a particular art or activity”.
Ok so the first one is out, everyone knows I am against organized religion. Humanity and compassion is my religion. The second definition actually applies to me as I do hold a Master’s Degree in Health Care Management but that doesn’t really apply to my line of work. I would feel weird calling myself a Master in healing because I have a Masters degree in something. The third definition is out because it actually refers to the days of slavery and yes well, I have no slaves.
Now that last definition, that is something to think about. “A skilled practitioner of a particular art or activity.” That is worth investigating.
Am I skilled? How do I define my skill set? Calling in the online dictionary again (thank God for google), I find out skill means, “the ability to do something well, expertise.”
Using that definition, I think of my work as a healer and realize I have been doing energy work and healing for 8 years now. I have seen many, many clients and also done self healing on myself. I have read numerous books, articles and attended seminars/conferences to enhance my knowledge and understanding. I discuss with peers frequently new ideas and thoughts that come up in this line of work. Dare I say it? I live my work.
But why don’t I feel like a master healer? I have no problem promoting other people as a master healer but to call myself that, I stutter.
This was what was on my mind at 4am in the morning. I woke up thinking about it and thats why I know, the Universe was conspiring to bring me a message. Cheeky imps, they always wait until 3-4am to bring me life changing messages.
As I thought about the terms and definitions of the word Master, I heard very clearly, “He is a Master Healer and you are a Master Teacher.” Peace flooded my soul. This message came from Spirit because peace always accompany it. When messages come from my ego, I feel tense and anxious. No sign of that here.
Yes my professional and personal partner is a healer and he truly is gifted. I have referred to him several times as a Master Healer. Why? Because I have seen him work. He goes into healing like there is nothing else on this planet. When he feels someone is hurting, his compassionate heart cannot hear or do anything else but lay hands and heals. Healing is what he is about and he practices self healing, offering and receiving trades with other healers and work as a healer religiously.
Now I know why I stumbled on calling myself a Master Healer. I love it, I absolutely do. I do good work too, just as good as he does but there is another love in my life and that is teaching. I live for teaching the way he lives for healing. I can’t help teaching. I teach in a formal classroom and unfortunately in my personal life to my love, friends and family. I don’t know how to turn it off.
Everything in this life is a teaching opportunity for myself and others. I am the mystic who reads the signs and can relay back in beautiful terms what I see. I live for seeing the moment a lightbulb goes off for someone. When insight meets understanding and that look crosses someone’s face. That is my high.
As I made this connection and understanding that I am a great healer but I am ultimately a Master Teacher, my phone beeps. It is an incoming email at 4.45am from a subscription I signed up for. Every now and then I get a morning message from the “Universe” with a profound message eerily applicable to whatever I am facing at that exact time. Today will clearly be no different. The email I received was:
“Did you know that whenever you think a brand new thought, however fleeting, there are switches flicked here? Buttons pressed? Levers thrown? Banners unfurled? Wheels turned? Hats tipped? Winks winked? Angels sent? Connections made? And conga lines formed? For starters.
You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you what happens when you visualize.
A lot A lot. Message received. The brand new thought? That there is a reason and divine timing about changing title to a Master. That I am supported, that this is not ego and that there is a calling for it. What else is required of me? Visualization. Time to put that imagination to work.
So my message to you today is to really think about the messages you are getting in your life. Is this post synchronistic for you? Are you being called to be a Master in something? Do you feel skilled to step out but afraid to do so? Go ahead, take that step, you have my blessing to do so. After all, the Universe calls me a Master Teacher….I think I have some pull. 😉
Until next time, love and light
Life is an illusion and as such, I too am an illusion.
Many people think I am fearless because I am so outgoing and gregarious. I do not shy away from a gathering and am more than ready to take the mic for whatever reason. However just because someone is good at something, one thing, doesn’t mean they are good at everything.
And here in my weekly blog with the whole universe, I am about to share a deep, dark secret of mine. I too have fears.
I tend not to discuss them with people (why illuminate areas of lack or insufficiency?) and instead shift focus on things I am great at, because let’s be real, who really likes to discuss their fears in an open audience? No one.
However the year 2015 brings a lot of change to this girl…she is getting older and wiser and more comfortable in challenges. 2014 was filled with a lot of challenges for me and after I ultimately survived each of them, it made me realize, “What can I not do?” It reminds me of that movie “Invincible” with Bruce Willis (I hope its the right movie I am talking of!). The movie where he is a regular day super hero but he doesn’t realize it until he woke up from a train crash and he was the only surviving person. His arch nemesis Samuel Jackson knew he existed and he created suffering conditions around the world looking for this super hero. When Bruce Willis finds out he has supernatural powers to withstand anything (even death), his son and him start these little exercises to test just how invincible he was. It was cute, seeing the look of amazement on his son’s face as he kept adding more weight for Bruce to bench press and thought provoking to see the realization dawn on Bruce’s face that he was in fact invincible.
This is the feeling you get when you survive things you thought to yourself you could not survive. I experienced it several times in 2014 but at the start of 2015, I am immensely experiencing it as I come to the close of one of MY most amazing feats yet. The 10 day liquid fast.
I took on the liquid fast 9 days ago (I cannot call it the Master Cleanse fast because I learned from a friend that I was doing it wrong the entire time! My recipe was not on point) and have had nothing to eat or drink besides a lemonade mixture of lemons, water, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. For nine days, I have had no food.
Let me back up. I know some of you are freaking out and thinking to yourself, “Oh I could never do that!” and trust me, I understand. I was in your shoes a couple of years back when I first heard of this craziness. However, life has a way of pushing your envelope and you end up in places like this like me. Bewildered, amazed and ultimately at the successful conclusion of yet another challenge.
Because I run with the “spiritual and metaphysical” group of friends, seeing and hearing of these experiences is not new to me. I hang out with people who are 100% vegan, go on 10 day silent retreats and do all sorts of activities to continually push the envelope of normalcy to ultimately transcend the status quo. I hang out with rockstars in my eyes.
This is why we say it is important to keep note of who your company is because they can either motivate you to push past your limitations or dwell in them, you decide. My company constantly motivates me with their choices and decisions. And I am indebited, because they have motivated me to do the same.
SO that’s the background of the fast challenge. I noticed people in my circle were doing it and usually at the beginning of the new year (it is recommended to detox twice a year with one detox being at the start of the year) so with the start of this year, I too jumped in. I have to admit, I didn’t properly prepare. Well hell, I didn’t even read the book!
Apparently you are suppose to start weaning off certain foods prior to day 1 and of course I didn’t. I just jumped right in, one day I was eating regular foods and the next day I bought some lemons, maple syrup and cayenne pepper and I began the fast. In retrospect, I think I did it that way purposefully. If I didn’t plan for it, then I didn’t have time to back out….you feel me? 🙂
So I went in with nothing more than a hope and a prayer that I would make it through the 10 days. Well needless to say I did. It is now day 12 and I have successfully completed the fast. I learned some things though about the fast but also myself and I am using this blog as a chance to share those things. We all know I love the bullet points (hey I am a Cappy! organization and structure rules!) so here goes:
I wasn’t sure I could complete the fast to be honest, but I was ok with that. If I did 3 days hey it was worth it! My body got a detox, the digestive tract got a rest and my skin looked brighter than it ever has. I was not planning to complete it but I was willing to see if I could. So ask yourself, “Where in my life do I create circumstances to test my boundaries?”
Its not such a foreign concept….we allow other people to push our boundaries all the time (yes I went there) so why don’t we do it? At least when we are pushing our own boundaries, we are creating growth as opposed to creating frustration. Try it and see what comes up. If you cop out, that is ok too. At least you tried and that is better than not doing anything at all.
Day 2 was my worst day. I know! not even day 6 or 7, but the second day in. I was so focused and concentrated on day 1 that it went by quickly. That aided by my early bedtime (9pm) and I was guaranteed success. However, when day 2 dawned, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that was at this point, growling, “What did I do?!” another 8 days of this? OMG! So I braved through it as best as I could but it felt like my whole mind and body were revolting against me. It felt like R. Kelly was singing in my head, “My mind is telling me NO but my body, my body is telling me YES!”
It was interesting to note how active my mind became, I forgot how flooded with thoughts it can get. I meditate everyday and that has kept the thoughts at bay for awhile but now, the floodgates opened and here they all came, screaming for my attention,
“You can eat something, no one will know.”
“This is so pointless, what are you trying to prove anyways?”
“This is probably unhealthy, you can stop now. You did one day, that is a feat in itself!”
It was ridiculous! I felt so low and drained. I felt unworthy and unacceptable in life. It was at the point when I was lying in bed, crying myself to sleep when I finally gave in and called a friend. Thank God! My friend Rob stayed on the phone with me for three hours to get me through it. He reminded me how beneficial this exercise was in terms of discipline and self control and how much better I would feel when I accomplished it.
When you are going through these tough times, find your motivators in your inner circle. Even though they may say things to you that you already know, there is some comfort that comes about from them just saying it.
I always say, if your inner demons show up to the party then you are doing something right to rile them up so much! However don’t let them get the best of you. It is your egoic self trying to keep things safe. This is a new activity you are doing, it is out of the comfort zone so it is a protective mechanism for the ego to try to stop you from doing it. Think of the doting mother who bundles her child up to go out and play in a wintery wonderland. Even though the child is protected with four layers of clothing, she is still clinging to the door and screaming, “Don’t stay out too long! Come back if you feel cold!” It is natural and it is part of being human, so learn to accept it, hear them but pay them no attention. Hear them but do not listen.
Food is absolutely a distraction for me. I work crazy hours, I am a single mom and I love a good, social life. My busy life seldom allows me quiet time outside of my morning meditation and so when I am stressed or busy or tired or fed up, I eat. Its called emotional eating and I have absolutely done it my entire life.
What the liquid fast did was remove the food which had become my security blanket. I felt naked and I felt alone. Of course, these emotions would take me to food in the past but now I didn’t have it but a lemonade mixture I was increasingly growing sick of with each passing day. Without the distraction, I became increasingly aware of myself and other people’s behavior in this world. It was wild. I felt like an animal. I became increasingly perceptive.
I remembered I hugged a girlfriend of mine and commented on how good that roast chicken smelt on her. She was freaked out! She made it earlier in the day for her family and couldn’t believe I could still smell it on her.
Smell wasn’t the only thing that picked up…I became acutely aware of people’s intentions and would tell them in a matter of fact way. While they were surprised, I wasn’t. I felt like it was the most natural thing on earth to know the heart of another.
Without the food, the stillness developed in me and it was that stillness that allowed me to see…to really see everything around me.
These are just some of the things I learned, but hey! This is not a book….its a blog! I just wanted to share the three keypoints I picked up after my cleanse.
How does this help you? Hopefully you are motivated to try a fast and if not a fast, then try something new to challenge yourself.
We all want change in our life, but change will not come unless you make an effort. Start small. Pick something you can half accomplish and half fearful you may not. Start there and allow your horizons to expand. Trust me, it will be so worth it in the end when you are empowered!
love and light,
Happy New Year! 2015 promises to be a magical year full of manifestations, abundance and prosperity for everyone….well according to Numerology that is as the #8 is the promisor of all those things and more. (2+0+1+5=8) I love the vibe and feel of the New Year as it expresses itself in new year resolutions, fresh starts and an honest effort on everyone’s part to let go of the old (whatever that may be) and be receptive to the new. If we lived this way all year, the world would be a happier place!
I know some people don’t get caught up in the whole resolutions and promises thing, but I absolutely do! I like the idea of starting over and righting wrongs. If you think like me, you will love this blog post because I intend to share some New Year habits with you that have helped me over the years. Read them and apply to your life whatever feels right, the rest you can discard.
Remember, many of the things I write about comes from my heart and have been guided to me in thought and ideas. While I am educated in most spiritual books, many of my personal spiritual practices are based on reading signs, following intuition and hearing messages clearly of what I need to do at a given point in time. As you read through, pay attention to your own signs. Does that point sound like something you should try? Do you feel like something is speaking to you? Try it out! It may be just the thing you need to take you higher!
#1-NEW YEAR, NEW DAY, NEW ENERGY
I have this funny belief that whatever you do on the first day of the New Year sets the record for the rest of your year. This message was channeled to me one year when I was in an on again off again relationship with a very seductive man. He was pretty much the “dream guy” to me at that time because as a young girl, I was attracted to his status (owned his own company), looks (beyond gorgeous) and lifestyle (think cultured and jet setting all over the world). I was seduced by the promises of what could be, but what was not really.
As the end of one year was winding down and the beginning of the new year was coming up, I started to think “I can’t possibly come into another year with this kind of drama. Something has to change!” And that is when I heard the message, Set your intention for the New Year by dedicating the first day to things you want to see more of in your life. So I did. On that first day of the New Year, I got up early and meditated and did a good yoga routine. I ate only vegetarian meals all day and didn’t go out shopping or hanging out with my friends. I spent the day quietly at home, in quiet introspection and only answered calls from loved ones who were a blessing in my life. Of course, he called me to wish me a Happy New Year but I ignored the call, and you know what? He proceeded to call back three more times. I ignored them all and felt really good about doing that.
It worked! Mr. Seductive and I ended it completely two weeks later and I went on to meet and date a beautiful soul mate who brought much learning and love into my life. The rest of the year took the energy of that first day too, it went well with more positive habits incorporated into my life and more negative ones gently leaving me. I know this article is four days late to actually do this point but we are still in the first week of the New Year! Pick a day and try for that one day to do all that you can to invite in the energy of goodness into your life. You will be surprised at how things can change around for you this year!
#2- REALIZE YOUR GOALS WITH A VISION BOARD
One of my new year priorities is the making of my vision board. I make it to set the intention for the year, of things I want to see come through in my life and also focus on specific goals to make it happen. You know what? It works absolutely. I have done the boards for three years now and at the end of the year I reflect on it and realize how many of my goals did in fact come through. Of course not all of them do come through but that is either because it wasn’t meant for me or it didn’t happen in the time frame. My first board in 2012 showed pictures of a spa setting, well that didn’t come through until 2014! I tend not to throw out my old boards (will probably update this article in 10 years when I have a surplus of boards!) because it is helpful to look back and see how far I have come in my spiritual growth as well as realize as some old goals become actualized later on.
The making of a vision board is an easy process. You get some magazines and a board to make the collage on and then you make the intention to see and pin whatever appeals to you as you do this. As you flip through the magazines, words and pictures will invariably jump out at you and that is when you cut them and add to your board. People tend to put pictures all over the place but for me, the Capricorn in me needs order. I found an online layout that worked by following the principles of the bagua in Feng Shui. They have a specific corner for love, health, travel, work, finances etc… If you do it this way you can color coordinate the base colors before you start pinning pictures (e-g-red background for love and green for finances et..) if you are so inclined!
After you make your vision board, put it in a prominent place where you can see it and spend some time focusing on it every day. I have mine in my bedroom so when I do my morning yoga routine, I can look at it and embed all the images and words into my consciousness. I then bring it down to the study, where I can glance at it from time to time while I work.
#3- THE ART OF MAKING RESOLUTIONS
The final point I have to make here is about resolutions. I know some people shy away from these but think about, successful people have certain habits that make them successful….this would be one of them! Not necessarily have a new years resolution, but having a plan. Every year I take the time to write down goals I want to accomplish as well as new activities/behaviors to try out to challenge me to come out of my comfort zone. I am constantly pushing myself to grow and expand and resolutions offer me a chance to do so.
I am very methodical about my resolutions though, I must warn you! I don’t make them and then put them to the side until the end of the year to bring them out and then feel dejected. No! There is a plan, and this is how it works:
1) I create a list of goals under four main headings: Personal Life, Career, Home and Finances. I then list 3-4 goals I would like to achieve under each heading. These goals have to grow me in some way, so for example:
-Personal Life: make 12 new recipes this year that are either vegetarian or vegan
– Career: Move home studio into an office building
– Home: declutter home
-Finances: Contribute $1200 to savings
2) Break the goals down into smaller goals to be accomplished on a quarterly basis:
For example, let’s take the home declutter project. I have three levels so I would say January-April clean out top level, May-August clean out middle level and September-December clean out lower level.
3) I would then break that down on a month by month basis:
January-clean out my room, February-clean out bathrooms, March-clean out guest room, April-clean out kids rooms.
When you do resolutions this way, it makes the larger goal seem more attainable and it gives you a steady guideline to accomplish it. This works! The only reason I do not complete a goal for a new year is if I get sidetracked and stop checking in with my goal, not because I couldn’t accomplish it or it was too hard to do.
I hope this helps! and I hope you liked the article, because you know what one of my new year resolutions is? To write a blog every week! So stay tuned, you will be hearing plenty from me in 2015!
Love and light,
It seems like an off topic…to talk about love and the spiritual path when we are in the middle of celebrating the Christmas season and holidays. But this is how Spirit works…I get guided to talk about something and I follow through, despite the outward awkward appearance of said topic and unrelatedness.
I am not too off topic though. Yesterday I held my first ever Psychic Wellness Fair at Lotus Wellness Center and it was a beautiful success and humbling experience. We had so much fan support and love from the community as people came out, booked readings and healings and bought valuable products from local stores. I am very grateful for the experience.
As beautiful as it was, it was also tiring! As it was my first go round, I didn’t schedule myself well and provided my appointment times to Yvonne, our organizer without including breaks for myself. Silly me! I ended up doing 6 hours of readings for 21 clients without proper break times. *Palm to face*, I will definitely be better about that in the future!
The readings though…..it is the reason I do what I do. I love the stories. I love seeing human life unfold in a natural and personal way for my clients and I am so humbled to be privy to such information. Of course, I would not ever disclose the information shared in those sessions with identifying factors to the people, that is unethical…but sharing the stories…ahhh this is what life is about and how we learn, process and grow.
I recently underwent a breakup with my long time boyfriend and best friend. It happened about two months ago and although I am past the mourning process, Spirit has a way of reminding me gently, that this too is all part of life. One of those reminders happened yesterday as roughly 90% of the readings I had to do were love readings; and of those readings, maybe 80% of the clientele were experiencing what I experienced just recently! A breakup or impending breakup, change in love and confusion as to what they should do next.
By the time I saw my 10th person yesterday, I realized there was material here for a blog post. Material to help me process what I learned in my long work day as well as material for those struggling right now with love and relationships. So, to make it easier and because I am an organized kind of gal (Capricorn sun sign!) I have included in bullet format, some of the key things I noted yesterday about love and the spiritual life. Stay tuned, because I believe this can evolve to an ongoing blog event!
What I know about love and living the Spiritual life:
1) The Honeymoon ends
When I get into a relationship it is truly a step into the honeymoon period. Everything about my mate is desirable in the beginning. We all know this, we have been through this before! However as time moves along, slowly creeping towards inevitable death…I guess pressure adds into my life to make sure all my choices are the right choices because time IS running out and we don’t want to be wasting it! Those desirable things in the beginning become stale and as the newness of the relationship wear off, so too does my interest.
I noticed this happened with several clients and instead of taking this time to evaluate and reassess, they boldly push on in the hopes of it getting better. Spoiler alert! It doesn’t and then their partner ends up leaving and they end up picking up the pieces of their broken heart wondering what happened.
If I can be candidly honest, I would say to people in relationships, expect the honeymoon to end, and then prepare yourself for a quiz. When you reach that point of normalcy (you can see your partner without butterflies dancing in your stomach) then take a moment to reflect on the relationship and how it has worked for you. Now the timing is different for many, I noticed some clients had the end come in as little as three months and some didn’t see it until years later….but that is moot. Whatever the timing, when the end of the honeymoon comes, this is the time to reflect and think how this relationship has helped, grown, matured and benefitted you in some way.
If you realize that life has opened up to you in countless ways because of this relationship, that you have developed a great friendship and companionship with someone and that you still are joyful to be around this person, then stay in it! This is a healthy relationship that is bolstering growth in your heart, and this is needed on the Spiritual path towards enlightenment.
The flip side of this is when you realize the relationship is not. I met so many clients yesterday and in previous readings who were not ready to let go even though the signs were there that the relationship was over. I even had some tell me their partner ended it and SAID it was over! But they wouldn’t take that as a hint and kept pushing through and forcing the relationship to happen amidst their partner’s objections.
Many of these clients felt it was “divinely guided” for them to be with this person, that the person was their soul mate/twin flame, that they had past lives together and that psychic readings told them they would be together. This point in particular leads me to my second insight:
2) Pay attention to the present, Ignore the past
I get that many of us are realizing we “know” each other without really knowing each other. That we have connections with strangers and can attribute it to a past life, twin flame connection sort of thing. However that does NOT take precedence over what someone is saying to you right NOW in your FACE! sorry for the dramatic captions, but sometimes I want to yell it this way to people so they can take me seriously.
Ok let me explain it from another angle, this may work. One time I did date a guy who felt we had more of a connection than I felt. You know how I felt when he pushed all this stuff on me? I felt awful and slightly embarrassed for him because I knew in my heart, I didn’t feel the same way. I tried to be polite and let him down gently, but he was so convinced we were meant to be together, he was not hearing me. He would over talk me and try to convince me that he knew best about this, but all I could think is, “How can he possibly know me better than I know myself?”
This is what we do though. We feel so justified in our love for someone that we attempt to tell them how they feel about us. Yesterday I had a very strong willed woman ask me for a love reading. She went on a date in January (it is now December) and the man in question never asked her out again. Every now and then he would text or call to say hello (they both were in the same profession) but nothing hinting to the fact that he was interested. Also the woman also mentioned that she knew or suspected he was dating someone. Despite all these indications, she still wanted a reading as to whether there was a chance for them or not (the cards said not a chance in hell by the way). You don’t need a reading for that. It is clearly written on the wall that he is not interested and she needed to move on. She didn’t stress the past lives connection or anything, just the connecting they had on their first date in January. That was the past, this is the present and in the present tense, he does not seem interested.
My personal opinion is that deep down she knows he is not for her, but the idea of being wrong is more than she can handle, so she rather chase after an unavailable man than open her heart and love to another for fear of rejection again. Which brings me to my next point:
3) We do not grieve enough
It is a known fact (through my eyes) we do not grieve enough. Everyday relationships are ending, jobs are lost, families are broken apart and people carry on like its just another day. Its not, it is torture on your heart and you need to acknowledge that.
When I went through this last breakup, I allowed myself to grieve. I went out to Old Navy and bought $200 worth of sweats swearing I would never dress cute ever again. I stopped wearing makeup and stopped working out, I ate what I wanted and slept when I wanted and definitely cried all the time. I went into a depression. A close friend of mine became worried and said to me, “I feel as if you are sinking into a depression and I worry about you not coming out of it.” I told her I absolutely was sinking into a depression and I was not worried about the end outcome because as I allowed myself to go in, when the time is right, I will allow myself to come out. And I did. 2 months later I resumed normal, healthy behavior, became more social and healthy again and started to revive in life. I am happier now than I was before the breakup! But it took some good time to grieve and feel pain but eventually heal from it.
Somewhere along the line of history, it became taboo to grieve. It was seen as a sign of weakness and despair to spend time in mourning. Then grieving became acceptable BUT with rules.
– You are allowed to grieve for big events (divorce, death) not small ones (a break up, illness).
– There is a time limit on grieving (fill in the blank, you are allowed to grieve for ____ days/weeks/months). I think I heard somewhere that there was an equation for grieving. If you have been in relationship for 3 years, it will take you half the time to get over it. Who comes up with this stuff anyways?
Your grieving process is personal to you and no one, not your family, your friends or the Government has a right to tell you when you had enough. I met a woman yesterday who was struggling to find her life path, she was in her 60s, and all I could see was pain and hurt from a lifetime of suffering. I told her to spend time in mourning first and then we can talk about your life path.
Grieving in love gives your heart validation. It validates the very real and raw feelings you had for someone and the ominous fact that you still have them despite their absence. It gives the heart time to reflect on whether this was true love feelings or feelings of want and desire. I realized after my grieving process I absolutely loved and still love my ex because he brought so much love and learning into my life, making me a better person than I was. I can think of him with a smile and also think of him with someone else and still smile. Why? Because the heart does not understand jealousy, control or possession. It only sees, feels and shares love and once I know he is happy, I myself am happy too. Many people do not reach this state of acceptance because they have suppressed the other four levels of grief. (The 5 stages of Grief- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance). How can I tell? From the way people talk about their exes. The pain is still raw within them and they speak with either hate, anger, sadness or anxiety when discussing their ex. This shouldn’t be, because as we find out in the next point:
4) Love is Everlasting
Love lasts forever, the FB status of a relationship changes. If you truly love someone and it is a Spiritual kind of love (as opposed to lust based or ego based), it will last a lifetime and more. I remember I was engaged to a man when I was in my early 20s. We lasted three years before I broke off the engagement and ended the relationship. A decade later he reached out to me on social media to just say hi and see how I was doing. When I heard from him, the floodgates of my heart opened again and I felt this immense sense of love flow to him. At that moment I realized I never stopped loving him after all these years.
This kind of love is a spiritual love. I felt no need to rekindle a relationship with him (he is happily married and with children) or have a physical interaction either. I was content to feel love for him, show him love and rejoice in his love for his family and wife.
He is not the only man I have loved, I have loved many and each time an ex of mine contacts me to chat or check in, I feel that love for each of them rekindle in my heart again and again.
This is hard for many people to hear especially my clients yesterday. Many of them wanted to be placed on a pedestal, to be the love of a lifetime for one person and to have complete ownership over their beloved’s heart. It is not possible and this impossibility is what drives a wedge in many love relationships today.
On the Spiritual Path we become open to the idea that we have enough love for everyone. That we can love people in different ways. That we have space to love more than one person at a time. For some of us, we are bold and dive into polyamorous relationships but for most of us, we allow ourselves to sit contentedly with that notion that love is abundant and the more you open yourself to love, the more abundance you receive in life.
All these points are good and note worthy but the most important point I took away from the readings is this:
5) Loving yourself is more important than any love relationship
In many of the readings, I noticed the physical attributes of the clients as they were speaking of their love problems. Many had bags under their eyes, dressed frumpily, had hectic lives with no time for themselves and almost always, put the needs and care of their partner before their own. I knew in my heart, love would never make a home in their lives if they didn’t make it feel at home.
When we get into relationships we tend to build the relationship on a rocky foundation. We put the foundation as our partner and then our needs are the top most part of the pyramid. What happens when that partner leaves? All of life crumbles.
I had a young client in her 20s who wanted a reading on her and her boyfriend. It seemed innocent enough but then she started talking about starting her own business and the name of the business would include her boyfriend. I stopped her there. There are things you need to do in this lifetime without your partner. It is your own mark on the world. You cannot have your mark with the mark of someone else. It sounds very hippy, peace, love and light but it is not realistic. If I learned anything yesterday, I learned that the majority of relationships do not last. I met clients as young as 26 and as mature as in their 70s, and they all had something in common, they were in relationships that were on the rocks, heading for the rocks or already broken up.
Why does this happen more for people on the Spiritual path than others? because we have made an unspoken vow and promise to grow, to seek and to explore as much of this life as we possibly can before we go. This inquisitive and highly changing attitude in us makes us unstable for a relationship. Some of us luck out and find partners willing to grow with us and change as we change…but the majority of us are unequally yoked to a partner, thinking in part, they would be our rock and our support to weather the storms and dark nights we understandably will undergo.
If this is the nature of love on the Spiritual path…that it has a higher chance of ending than lasting, what makes me think I will be the one to break the mold? We say we are humble but when we think like this, we really are not. We want it all, the perfect relationship, enlightenment and Zen.
I say to those in relationships or considering it, to build your foundation on yourself. Make YOU the priority. Set up your life and your day to revolve around you and your interests. This way if your relationship ends, then you still have your life intact and you can mourn just the top of the pyramid not the whole darn thing.
I have lots more to say on the topic of love and the Spiritual Path. Indeed, it has been a masterpiece in my life’s work and thankfully I paid attention and learned what I needed to learn in order to grow and evolve. I personally do not know what my love life has in store in the next year or even next, few weeks; whether I will rekindle romantically with an ex or be in a new relationship….but what I do know, is that no matter what happens, I chose me. I will always choose me and that to me, is being in Love on the Spiritual Path.
Love and light always,
I really don’t know when I started meditating. The word itself is confusing so depending on the definition, it is hard to place it in my timeline on Earth. When I think of meditation, I automatically think of a Tibetan monk in orange or red robes perched peacefully on a mountain or in the forest, eyes closed and a serene look on their face. They display the look of enlightenment or introspection, both of which is described as hard to attain by regular people like myself.
In the Wikipedia dictionary, “Meditation is described as a practice where the mind is trained to induce a state of consciousness, either to realize some benefit or as the end itself.” Wait what? Realize what or on the flip side, achieve the end of what?
As a young healer in the area, I started out wanting to teach meditation and hold classes because I myself wanted to learn. You realize very quickly as a teacher, that whatever topic you teach, is a topic you must learn. I needed meditation. Despite being the owner of an up and coming wellness center, I was far from a confident, cool, collected wellness therapist. I was stressed every day about finances, managing the center and coming home to a world of work as a single mom to two cute but active boy children. It seems I was constantly tired, constantly broke and beginning to be constantly irritated in life. This was not the energy of a healer was supposed to be, I recognized that, so I wanted to learn meditation.
For me, I like to learn in a hands on approach. I appreciate taking the classes and all, and trust me I do. I have taken enough classes in meditation to know how to teach one, but was I actually doing the work? I was not. So I figured, I would hold meditation meetups at the studio, invite my regular, meditating friends to host and I would attend as a student. I would learn and grow and somewhere along the line, my sanity would return.
It worked for awhile, it really did. I had my friends rotate through a month and once a week, we the students were treated to Buddhist Meta Meditation, Hypnotherapy Stress release sessions, Kundalini meditation and Walking/Dancing Meditation. It was a world of fun absolutely! But I was still not incorporating the practice into my daily routine even though I tried. Every morning after my morning yoga routine, I would sit patiently and wait for the meditating power to come upon me. I would wait and wait, get frustrated and then leave with a “Bah Humbug!” kind of attitude. Not the way I envisioned starting my day.
It frustrated me to pieces because I knew all the benefits of meditation, heck I listed them off in every meditation class I held! Not only were there spiritual benefits but can you believe mental, physical and physiological as well? True to my teacher form, here are some you need to know because trust me, when you read the list, you will understand why I was so hell bent on learning the art of meditation.
Benefits of Meditation:
I reflected on my young life on this Earth and I remembered when I was a teenager, I would sit quietly for some time and allow my mind to go still. No one taught me that, I did not get certified to do that and I absolutely did not spend a week or month in classes to learn that. It was a thought that came to me, I acted on it and received some profound healing as a result. So why couldn’t I do that now? Just ask…ask the Universe, ask God, ask what would work for me and then do it?
So I asked. The answer I received was that my mind was too restless and I needed to do some form of focusing technique to quiet it down before I sat in silence. Oh, that’s easy I thought! I can go with mantra chanting that I learned at the ashram. So one morning I woke up and too tired and too cold (I live on the East Coast and we are approaching Winter) to move, I sat in my bed and with one hand on my mala beads, I started to chant. Nothing fancy, just the mantra I knew by heart. I chanted the mantra 108 times as required and then put my mala beads down, ready to begin the struggle with my mind.
But this was new, there was no struggle. It was like it was when I was a teenager, effortless. I sat in this beautiful, calming space for a couple of minutes before I realized the thoughts came back and then I started to plan my day etc….. I opened my eyes and looked at my timer and was sad to see I was only in this meditative silence for five minutes; but hey, I will take it.
I continued this practice for one week, chanting a mantra and then setting my timer, closing my eyes and going into a meditative silence. The time varied, sometimes five minutes, sometimes three and sometimes seven but nothing ever more than ten minutes. It wasn’t until a week later that I did my routine and when I came out, I was blown away to see I was in a meditative state for twenty minutes. Twenty minutes! Where did the time go? I really thought I didn’t set my clock right or something mechanically wrong happened with my phone. It did not feel like that amount of time at all.
The days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and you know what, the meditation time varied depending on my state of mind. Sometimes it was easy and I could go half hour on that bliss train and some days I was not in the mood and can only factor in five minutes. It really didn’t matter, because my commitment to the practice was established and that in turn was what brought about the change in my life.
All those benefits listed above and more became part of my life. I have always suffered from anger since childhood and nothing worked in relieving it. Since I started meditating, the anger dissipated slowly from my system and things didn’t bother me as much as they used to. This space developed around me and others and I was able to think clearly and feel love in most situations that were stressful and tense. I became the better version of myself I wanted to achieve through meditation.
To this day I still meditate. So far I have gone one month with daily meditation practice but I am not making it a competition. I made the promise to myself to meditate everyday and if some days, it really only results in a minute of silence then so be it. This is not about bragging to the world how long I have been meditating, this is about me keeping my sanity and peace of mind in the midst of life. Because life stops for no one, the best chance you have is to slow it down a little so you can really appreciate the beauty of it all.
So what’s my advice for you dear reader? Simple, you have to put into practice what works best for you. If you prefer to lie on the floor, listen to music or a guided version, walk or dance…do it your way. The end result is really what you are going after and that is complete peace of mind despite the chaotic reality of life. I wish you well and as always, have a Namaste
love and light,
Namaste wonderful light beings,
It has been awhile since I last wrote and I have good cause. I have been hard at work, teaching, learning new classes and creating new techniques! Definitely feeling the creative vibe this month.
Do you know what I am also feeling? The determined effects of being in a Mars Retrograde period. I know! We just came out of a Mercury Retrograde and we have two more to look forward to this year and here we get hit with this one. I didn’t even know Mars had a retrograde period (silly rabbit) so of course I had to do my research and come back to share with you dear reader. Let us begin.
Luckily for us, a Mars retrograde period occurs roughly every two years so it is not as frequent as a Mercury retrograde period (happens annually three times a year).
Before we delve into what the retrograde period brings, let us learn about the planet Mars. Traditionally known as the God of War in Roman times, the planet Mars represents the war like tendencies we have within ourselves. It is the planet of aggression, power, anger, hostility and force.
Besides the anger issues, Mars also brings out our primal desires in terms of sex, passion, desire and drive to meet our basic human needs.
I have noticed in the web research that this retrograde period is similar to a mercurial retrograde period in terms of what to do and not do. The general consensus out there is to avoid starting anything new such as a relationship, job or exercise regimen as they will ultimately fail. The energies of people at this time is lacking and anything new started will not be seen through to the end as somewhere along the line, people will give up on their new projects.
This is also a time of celibacy so people in relationships beware! If your partner is not feeling especially sexual around this time, it could be the retrograde period. Because the planet is back peddling, the drive and need for sexual satisfaction becomes non existent.
For me personally, I feel exhausted and tired all the time during this retrograde. I can sleep my regular eight hours at night but still feel sleepy during the day. I do not have the drive to move forward and start anything new, and I definitely don’t have the drive to work. Recognizing this is a Mars retrograde period has made all the difference in the world. I have started back my meditation habit and chanting mantras in a last ditch effort to break the spell of laziness and lack of energy this retrograde period has brought on. It worked! and hence here I am writing to you dear reader and hopefully motivating you to stay calm during this period. We only have one more month to go! 🙂
So what to do during this Mars Retrograde period? What I have been doing is a lot of mental inventory and reflecting on my goals and aspirations in life. Being that I do not have the physical energy or desire to move forward, I have resorted to thinking more and doing less. Use this time as a time of introspection. I also started my three week detox plan (which I do every spring) and yes the first week has been trying with this retrograde energy but I persist. The benefits have already started to shift my energy and wake me up from the Mars slumber party.
Here is a great mantra to chant as a way to appease this planet of War. Repeat 108 times every day and see if you notice a difference in your drive and energy. If you do, please do let us know! Remember, we are all here helping each other to get ahead!
Namaste and stay safe and calm during this Mars Retrograde,
in love and light,
Chant to Mars: OM ANGARAKAYA NAMAHA
(Om Ahng-gah-rah-kah-ya Nahm-ah-ha)
Well the busy schedule has picked back up here at lotus studio and I have begun teaching our plethora of classes on yoga, meditation, reiki and mentorship.
After a nice long break over the summer, it is nice to be back in the studio, working with my clients and seeing the happy, smiling faces of my students. I love their energy, their passion and eagerness to learn. I love facilitating their learning because as a mentor, I know this has nothing to do with me. I simply plant the seeds and watch their soul water and grow it into beautiful flowers of revelation.
While teaching is mostly blissful (it really is for me!), there are a few sad moments I come across in meeting these wonderful students. One of those moments happen when I come across a student who is doubtful and uneasy to share their gift with others and the community at large.
I recently met a woman who had the most compassionate heart I have ever seen. She was like a Mother Theresa in human form (we miss you Ma!) and her love and devotion to everyone from her kids to her husband, her family and friends was beyond anything I have ever seen. A very lovely Spirit within her but she was too shy to share her gifts of mediumship, empathy and healing with anyone.
During a reiki healing session I saw a past life of hers where she was a sort of a medicine woman/natural healer in a Native American village a long time ago. I saw her sitting on a log around a fire with other healers in what seem to be a meeting. I noticed she was the only female healer and the men were not nice to her, making fun of her and disbelieving her gifts. I saw a great Goddess standing behind her in all her glory and I could feel the wrath of this Goddess from her and expressing through the female healer. The Goddess chose her because in this particular tribe, the men were superior and have abused women for many centuries. The Goddess wanted to reestablish the power of the Feminine Divine through this healer.
Before I left the vision, I saw clearly the rage and anger at being laughed at, mocked and not taken seriously. I now realized why this woman today had issues of insecurity about her own power and amazing psychic and healing gifts.
The thing is, without reading every single one of you, I know this story can apply to many of us. Those of us with exceptional psychic skills probably had many lifetimes as a healer or seer and these gifts came with us into this lifetime as a natural ability. However, because we most likely were ridiculed, threatened or even killed (burning comes to mind) we tend to shut down our abilities very early in life, untrusting of this world and seeking security.
STOP. I will tell you what I told my client and that is, “Let Go.” That was the past and thankfully we live in a world much more accepting of our gifts and who we are/were.
If you have issues dealing with this, I suggest you send a prayer up to whoever you pray to and ask for help and healing of those past lives to give you confidence in this life to do the work you are meant to do. It can be something as simple as this:
“Heavenly Being (whoever you pray to) I thank you for the wonderful gifts that have been bestowed upon me in this lifetime and previous ones. I ask for help in healing my trauma associated with being who I was and for that healing to go back to the lifetime it started in and come forward to my current lifetime. Give me the strength, inner will and courage to proudly stand in my right as a healer/seer and perform the duties I came here to do as according to my life contract. I thank you so much for your hand in my healing and I pray blessings on myself and everyone everywhere. Amen”
Another thing you can do is to shift your perspective. You were not given the gifts for yourself! How odd would that be? It’s like playing Monopoly by yourself, there is no fun and camaraderie with just one!
While you can use your gifts to intuitively decipher situations and apply healing on yourself, the majority of the reason you were given your gifts is to share with the world. Think of how many people you personally know in your inner circles that can benefit from your help. Now multiply that by 1000 and even more. There is a saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” You are meant to help and once you open yourself up to the Universe, those you are meant to help will surprisingly show up. It has happened many times at my studio where I do little to no advertising. And you know what? They all say the same thing, “I just found you….I was looking through several websites and yours just called to me….I don’t usually do this but….”
Synchronicity will play a role in helping you find a mentor to develop your gifts and also bringing you people to share your gifts with once you are developed. This is the way of the Spirit.
If you are interested in small, personal mentorship classes with like minded people, check out my class- Mentorship for the Beginner Intuitive. They are held one sunday a month and run from September-May.
You can also take reiki classes with my Reiki I Class and Attunement
to develop your natural abilities in a personal way.
Or as always, you can request a reading with me to see what Spirit has planned next for you on your path! Intuitive Readings-Ask Questions, Receive Angel guidance!
Until next time, in love and light
Every week I go to my friend Diana’s house for our weekly intention circle gathering. In this closed, private group several ladies and myself write out a list of things we are grateful for in our lives and things we intend to happen in the near future. It is a fun time for me because I get to socialize with some pretty amazing women and be part of a caring and sharing group where we can let our guards down and share intimate details about things we are going through in life.
One meeting however, went awry despite my best efforts to diffuse the situation and this is the topic of my blog today. Usually at the end of our intention circle, it is customary for several of us to share ‘messages’ we receive about others in the circle. These messages are Spirit led and can either be prophetic, speaking on things to come or regressive, speaking on things that have happened or are happening to us to hold us back from manifesting all the things we want.
I usually chip in and share messages like the rest of ladies but for one woman in particular, I have held back on sharing messages with her. From the moment I met her, I knew she had a lot going on in her life and I could see the pitfalls of her behavior and thoughts that hold her back. During the sharing segment of our meeting, I would give other people messages but purposefully hold back on my messages for her, because even though I know it could be helpful, I also knew she was not in a position to receive it.
When I first came out as a healer and seer, my grandmother was one of the first people I told. She believed in me and told me that I would help many people but to use discretion and not share everything with everyone. “Not everyone is ready to receive information into their lives. You have to know who to tell and who to keep quiet about.” This woman in particular is exactly what my granny was talking about.
Two weeks ago though, the messages I received for her were overwhelming. There was a real seriousness attached to sharing the messages with her but because of the tone and content of the message, I kept debating in my head if I should or should not tell her. To be honest, I was afraid. I knew that even though she said she is open to receiving messages, she was only open to receiving ‘good’ messages and the one I had to give her, spoke sternly to her current behavior and thoughts. One by one, we went around the circle sharing our messages for each other and as the time got closer to her, a complete sense of peace flooded me. I will share this message with her and how she takes it, will be on her. I am doing my part in trying to help someone better themselves and that’s all I can do. I am a vessel, nothing more, nothing less.
So I did. I shared the message I had with her…..and immediately I regretted it. Her whole face and demeanor changed and her energy recoiled from me. Oh no, she took it personally! How can she hear me when her ego is up in arms?
Thankfully, she is a good actress and did not outwardly express her inner discontentment. After the meeting ended, she quietly left quickly and no one was none the wiser but me. I knew she was upset and on a deeper level, I knew she was coming for me the next time we met.
So thought, so happened. At our next meeting the following week I saw her and tried my best to avoid her. I was hoping that if we just stayed out of each other’s line of sight, we could survive the awkwardness of this encounter and in time, we could go back to normal where we attended the circle, shared our intentions, made small talk and leave it at that.
However this woman had another intention and while I was speaking to Diana, she interrupted our private conversation and asked to speak to me. I obliged. She told me that last week I made her feel like crap. I upset her so much and made her feel just awful and it has been with her all week. The rest of what she said doesn’t matter, as she went on to displace her feelings onto me. She felt attacked and felt that I was coming from a negative place and could have delivered her message in a more positive and loving way. She felt that as a healer and in my line of work, I needed more compassion and began to tell me how to do my job. I just sat and listened and gave her space to say what she had to say. I am guessing that my inability to engage in this war of words did not satisfy her and she brought the matter to the attention of the whole circle. She again repeated what she said to me and waited to see what the others would say. I am pretty sure, she was expecting them to support her and stand by her but to the contrary they didn’t.
Now remember dear readers, this is not a regular social gathering of friends. This is an intention circle, and we are all in attendance for our Highest Good. We are all looking at outcomes for the Highest Good of ourselves, the Universe and people everywhere. And with that intention, my fellow circle members began to tell this woman how they felt about her and the situation and it was pretty much the same thing I said to her but I guess in a more loving way as she accepted the message better.
The point of this whole retelling of the incident is to point out something she said to me at the beginning of this story. She said I made her feel like crap. In the words of the dear, departed Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel like anything. You are responsible for that.” (ok not actual translation but along those lines).
And this is the Truth. Everyone has the freedom to say what they want to say, how you take it or perceive it, is YOUR reality and YOUR choice. You cannot blame others for how you feel, that is just ridiculous.
Its equivalent to you suggesting I take a trip to the Bahamas. I go and have a horrible time for whatever reason, and then I come back and blame you for my experience.
People are mirrors to ourselves and how we feel about them both positively and negatively are reflections of how we feel about ourselves. Now let’s reflect what she has said to me; she said she felt I was negative and coming from a negative place and the things I said to her in the message was more of a reflection of what I am going through than the reality of her situation. She also said that I needed to be more loving and compassionate in my dealings with others and learn how to communicate better. Wow, definitely a mooutful of advice for herself, don’t you think?
I in turn took her words graciously and did not respond in turn. There was no need. This woman is not a bad person and the issues she is dealing with (whether she chooses to believe it or not) is not foreign to me. I too had dealt with them when I was younger and I can easily relate to what she was going through. This is why I maintained my silence as best as I could and did not lash out or engage in any dirty behavior. I allowed her to vent and created space for her to do so. I took none of it personally.
This is what I hope for you dear reader, when you come upon situations like these. It is my sincerest wish that you remember this blog article and bite your tongue when someone gives you a good tongue lashing. No matter what they say to you, it is their own work they are doing. It is a reflection of what they are going through and has nothing to do with you. Just surround them with love and compassion and let them work it out. Offer words of advice as calmly as you can and if it falls of deaf ears, then so be it. It is not your responsibility to make someone grow, you can offer to help but what they chose to do with it, is their choice and you have to respect that.
After the woman opened up her issues to the group, and realizing she was not getting support for her victim role, she offered to leave the group. Well that is expected because victims like to take it that level instead of owning up to their mistake and learning from it. I told her that she has that choice of course but I do hope she stays because running from problems is not a solution. It only deters the problems and keeps them growing. Besides, it really was not her decision to make to leave the group; it was the decision of the leader and based of her past and current behavior, the leader eventually did ask her to leave the group. She did a good job as a leader because she maintained boundaries and protected the sacredness and intimacy of the circle.
Going forward, can you apply this concept that everyone is a mirror and they are just reflecting back to you, qualities you have that you are not happy with? That they are giving you an opportunity to grow yourself? I would love to hear your comments on this article and maybe share some of your own stories. Until next time,
In love and light,